2020.11.11 - There's an App For That
Sky High is a place of wonders. All those kids with powers of all different kinds...the place is like Hogwarts for super kids. So, things stand a forty percent chance of going wrong at any given time. That's why the school uses the latest in nanotech to repair damage quickly. They also employ a fine medical staff, for more grievous issues. They also have security, although things do, occasionally, get past them.
Take today. The quad looks pretty quiet and normal, with students moving around and talking with each other. The sun is shining, and there's the ever-present sense of hope and purpose that somehow manages to permeate the atmosphere. And then, the screams start. Not huge, horror movie screams, but the screamers are not happy. And why would they be? There appears to be a goblin moving through the quad, its gaunt body covered in grey, leathery skin that is weirdly both too tight and too loose on it. Its huge eyes are yellow lamps, and when it opens its mouth, the teeth inside are long and pointed and yellow. It runs from group of students to group of students, peering into the face of each and sniffing them lewdly. Then it barks something, and moves on, looking nervously towards the dorms with alarming regularity.
Business as usual.
Anyone wanting to learn some real downhome creole should prick up their ears, because all kinds of profanities are flying as Gambit rushes, staff in hand and dressed only from the waist down, to try and get that goblin. Of course, they can't hurt the thing, but it doesn't seem to have much in the way of personal boundaries. Who knows why Remy's not wearing a shirt, but is anyone complaining? Mais non, who would do that.
He springs for the goblin, but it's too agile and bounds out of the way, sticking out its tongue with a "pthbbt!" and wiggling its hand against its nose, taunting as it scrambles off.
"Hey! You stop that right this instant, p'tit cauchemar!" Gambit whacks the tip of his staff against the ground, pushing up to his feet with its help. "We gonna take you back home! You don't belong here!"
BAMF! "Vhat is it now?" This was the third time today! He had only been requested to come back to instruct very recently and yet it seemed like everything was wild in this place! If only he were a decade younger, none of this would be an issue. In fact, it would be quite the opposite, it would be a secret he kept with his friends. But children these days were excessively loud! (Or perhaps he was simply hung over...)
"If zis is anozer--oh." Golden eyes widened. "OH. Vhat. VHAT." Seeing the elusive and acrobatic Gambit so easily juked was easily the most shocking thing he had seen this week. BAMF! "Your freunds are alvays so colorful, Remy, vhy are you sending zis one home early? Vith zos teef, I am guessink he is a bad kisser, ja?" He reappeared closeby to taunt and get an intel dump from his friend.
The goblin snickers as Remy sprawls, scampering up to a group of students dressed for gym and scampering around and on them like a deranged monkey. More sniffing, and barking that almost sounds like actual words, and then the goblin is moving on. Then it spots its quarry.
The student is clearly new, a small-framed young man with a shock of red hair that's unevenly cut. The kid stands alone, his newness to the school robbing him of the protection of a clique. He watches as the goblin approaches, its wide mouth splitting into a hideous grin as it comes.
Next to Remy and Kurt, a circle of light opens up, and Ilya steps out, his expression grim. He's dressed in his normal attire, only now his right arm is encased to the fingertips in a shiny silver armor. Resting on his shoulder is a sword -- a -huge- sword that seems to be the same metal as his armor. He emerges in time to hear Kurt's question, and his mouth tightens. "He is the worst kisser," he says, his expression dark as he starts to move towards the goblin and his prey. "He is also breaking my rules."
"For once, I don't think I wanna know how he kiss!" It is encouraging for Remy to see Kurt appear so immediately. At least he knows he always has friends, and those friends tend to be quick to respond to distress at Sky High. It's one of the best features of the place: if anything happens, someone is bound to be on it in minutes.
As the two of them close in on the goblin, Ilya emerges from the familiar stepping disc. "One of Ilya's l'il buddies musta squeezed out of Limbo, and lo and behold -- here he is! Don't hurt him too much, Ilya." He smirks, bouncing the staff's end on his shoulder idly as he watches things unfold. "Awful spry l'il thing."
Rules... could be bent for a good purpose, but though the thought scrambled through that blue head, Kurt had enough social awareness to not bother in a dire situation. He gets the info dump he needs rather quickly, too, though he pauses for an extra moment to hear Remy's excuse for busting his ass before pushing through the brimstone dimension twice in quick succession, leaving a puff of smoke curling back in his quarters while reappearing half a heartbeat later behind the carrot top.
"Do not be alarmed," Kurt ensured the boy with a touch of a large tridactyl hand over one of the boy's shoulder's while a rapier slipped forward on the teen's other side to ward off the goblin with a couple of quick warning slashes. "You vill not be late to class today, zis I promise."
The appearance of Kurt behind the boy stops the goblin in its tracks, and it stares at the mutant for a long moment. Then, that grin splits even wider, and the goblin moves forward, almost servile in its posturing. "Brother," it says, in a voice that sounds like Boris Karloff gargling rocks. "Crotus did not know this one was claimed." It lowers itself further, with the smallest hitch in its muscles. "Crotus only seeks a mate."
Ilya frowns as he walks(!) towards the spot where goblin, elf, and...leprechaun? are in their stand-off. "This is problem with Crotus," the teenager explains to Remy. "He is always wanting a mate. He thinks it will give him status." Ilya sniffs, and shifts his sword on his shoulder. "Never mind there are, like, zero demons who are being monogamous."
Remy just keeps pace with Ilya, watching this little one called Crotus. "Huh. Well, guess he's pretty understandable. Lots of people want mates! Just a hard thing to get, harder to hold onto." He keeps tapping his staff to his bare shoulder, bouncing it off there, the muscles moving visibly under the skin as he goes from one place to the other and keeps himself busy while he does that.
"So, what, should we all team up and find Crotus a buddy or something?" Remy looks from Ilya to Kurt, and even flashes the boy a reassuring smile. "Hey, don't worry about your class. We'll walk with you and explain. Just another Sky High perk!"
"A mate? Zat is all? Zis, mein freund, I can assist you in. Howefer, all of zees children haf been shpoken for. Vait von moment ant I vill help you, ja?" He turned, ushering the boy protectively behind him and only spared a glance to ensure Crotus was behaving before patting the boy on the head.
"Close your eyes ant hold your bref," for that seemed to help when upending the world of first-timers by suddenly relocating in a completely different local. The equalibrium came into effect through so many factors, but by closing off these two... BAMF!
They reappeared beside Remy, but just as quickly Kurt had returned to Crotus dropped into a low, comfortable crouch to bring himself glowing eye to glowing eye with the goblin as he brought out his phone. "I vill haf to ask you questions, Herr Crotus. How much time do ve haf?"
"Mister LeBeau," Ilya says patiently, motioning at the goblin. "Crotus is naked. Does he look like he needs a mate?" Indeed, the goblin is rather...doll-like in his lack of any discernible equipment. "Demons are part of Limbo's essence. They have no need to breed." He wrinkles his nose, and pauses as the elf and goblin talk.
Crotus, for his part, blinks when Kurt make his promise, and his expression brightens hideously. "Oh, thank you, brother! Thank you!" But then Kurt is gone, and the goblin blinks at the curl of brimstone that hangs in the air.
The kid reels a bit when Kurt leaves him with the others, and he nods mutely at Remy's observation of the school. Then he begins walking away as smoothly as he can. At least for ten feet. Then he bolts and runs, a plume of papers and school supplies providing a trail for anyone inclined to find him.
When Kurt returns to Crotus', there's a flash of light as Ilya disappears himself. The goblin sees none of it, and gasps a bit when the elf reappears. "You have great magic!" he says, eyeing the phone curiously. "You will use it to help Crotus if he answers your questions, yes?"
Then, Ilya appears, his face somehow cloaked in shadow despite the sunny weather. "He has very little time," he answers Kurt's question. "He should hope the questions are yes/no."
Remy covers his spreading grin, trying to stop himself from just outright laughter. It's hilarious, it's unexpected, and what's more, it could actually work. This is the age of inter-connectivity, after all, and if the internet has taught people anything, it's that there is someone out there -- probably several someones -- that will be into you, no matter what.
"You a sharp guy, Fuzzy." He manages to put it mildly. The student rushing off raises an eyebrow, but he shrugs his bare shoulders. "He'll be fine, probably get there a little early for next class."
Unlike the other two here, Remy isn't a teleporter, so he ambles gradually closer to the impromptu gathering. "Aw, c'mon, Ilya. Crotus here just wanna be loved and give love...probably...like everybody else. Maybe if we can find him a mate, he won't cause so much trouble. Love do strange things to a boy's head."
"I vill help you help himself, freund." Those fat blue thumbs tapped away at the screen until he had brought up a webpage and began to skim it. "Can you maintain veekly correshpondance vith zis vorld? A letter left here to be mailed? Or more, if you haf it in you to write more zan von."
He glanced up to Ilya and smiled at Remy's praise, but he really wasn't going to split his attention from Crotus now that he'd heard that he didn't have much time. "Do you know our shcript? Zat vill be fery important."
"He does not want love," Ilya says frustratedly, watching his minion as he talks to Kurt. "He only wants status that will not exist. He has no -- " he breaks off, his brow furrowing deeply as he hits upon a moral hypocrisy in the making.
Crotus narrows his eyes as Kurt begins his questions, and he tips his head as he listens. "Correspondence?" he echoes, drawing the word out to B-movie sidekick proportions. "Crotus can leave letters. Master can bring them!"
"He can -not-," Ilya says, suddenly, blinking hard twice. "I am not a...carrier pigeon!" He shifts the sword from his shoulder and sticks the point in the ground. It's nearly as tall as he is. Leaning on the hilt, he looks down at Crotus. "Your time grows short," he says simply. "S'ym waits for you to return."
Crotus pales to an ashy color, and turns to Kurt. "Crotus can find another way to leave a letter."
"Listen," Remy holds up his hands, finally lifting that staff from bouncing on his shoulder. "We teachers, right? Instructing the young on how to survive. So why don't you tell m'sieu S'ym to lay off and maybe we can teach this p'tit Crotus what it's all about."
The cajun cracks his usual winning grin, leaning on that staff now, casually. "There a whole lot wilder things than Crotus in this world. Most of the kids in this world, for one. Don't it show some exceptional quality for him to get this far?" He adjusts his stance, and my, aren't those tights tight? He's half in costume, and costumes are for movement. And showing off, which his naked-from-the-waist-up current state accomplishes quite well. "And we X-Men, we all about exceptional people. Just a l'il bit different from all the rest, non? Why don't we do this as a challenge?"
"Exactly" Nightcrawler stood, stepping closer to the young blond to cosign on Gambit's suggestion. "You look zee part of a cupid vhy can you not play zee part of a cupid? Herr Crotus can leave messages vith you and it shall gif us an excuse to spend time together, ja?" An arm slipped over Ilya's shoulders, though golden eyes remained on Crotus "You gif me zee letters, I buy your supper, ant love can be shpread all around. Doesn't zat sound nice? Much better zan vhatefer sreats you are srowink arount, I sink."
He lifted his phone, though, to show the blond the webpage he had pulled up. It was a site for an inmate outreach program that focused on reforming supervillains. "Zer are many options in zee vorld, zis is only zee first of many."
Ilya looks a bit flummoxed at the response from the teachers, and he stands up, his mouth pursed thoughtfully. But it's hard to concentrate when Remy has no shirt on and very tight tights, and Kurt's fuzzy warmth is wrapped around his shoulders...
"Fine," he says with a sigh. "Answer the questions, Crotus, and then go and write your letter. I will bring them to Mister Wagner." Glancing at the elf, he smiles a bit mischievously. "At dinner, of course." He catches himself then and shakes his head as he retrieves his sword, which he points at the goblin. "But do not come to Earth without my permission again."
Crotus throws himself to the ground at this largesse, crawling over to plant slobbery kisses on the toe of Ilya's boot. "Oh, thank you Master. Generous Master. Gracious and merciful Master. Thank you. Thank you!" His face is a mask of ghoulish joy as he moves back to sit on his haunches and look expectantly at Kurt.
"Yes, yes. Don't make me regret it." The small sorcerer looks a bit distracted as the goblin withdraws, and looks down to frown at the slickness on the toe of his boot. "Ew."
Remy slides up to Ilya and throws his arm around the other side. "That's awful big of you. Y'know, I think you definitely cut out to teach here one day. Good with the students." He's practically beaming as he, trying to be surreptitious about the gesture, winks to Kurt. Go team! Even if they came to the X-crowd at different times, they're like peas in a pod in so many ways. "This is gonna be some fun times, I think. And you bet Remy gonna help Crotus with his charm and snappy dressing."
Golden eyes arch joyously back at Remy over the blond's head. Yes! mission accomplished! The spade tip of his tail patted the man on the back, though his attention was being stolen away by the boy and his ghoul. "Mm, yes. I sink you not regret this, so long as you are not vegan. I eat at eight." His wink was for the teen, though he did crouch again an reached out to Crotus. "I vill help you vith your first letter." His fingers curled, beckoning, and if Crotus would take hold--BAMF! Right into the office in the Athletics Department where he would go over the details of writing a self introduction.